The holiday season is always hectic, and this year it started out with a bang. The day after Thanksgiving, Kelly convinced me to go “Black Friday" shopping. (In my defense – my brain was still bogged down by the lingering effects of a food-coma.) Then on Saturday, the whole family went to the Apple Cup - the annual football game between the University of Washington and Washington State University (my alma mater). It’s an emotional rivalry that’s extremely intense.
I expected things to be rough, but it got downright violent. I saw holding, kicking and serious injuries – all before we left Macy’s.
Wait…you thought I meant football? No, although the protective gear would’ve been helpful. Shopping on Black Friday is a full-contact sport.
I’ve never shopped on Black Friday. But I was desperate to spend time with Kelly while she was home from college for the holiday break. She and some friends had already shopped at midnight (that's when she saw the “Doorbusters” – people literally busting the doors to get in).
After she completed round one, she came home for a long winter’s nap. Then she wanted to go back to the mall with good ol’ mom - maybe because she's been missing me (or possibly my money).
When we got close to Macy’s, the traffic was thicker than a Mocha Java Chip Frappuccino with Extra Whip.
“What’s going on here,” I said, “Occupy Macy’s?”
The parking lot was completely full. Like a certain young couple traveling on a winter’s night long ago, we were about to be turned away.
“Look Mom,” Kelly said, “there’s room in Valet parking.”
Ah yes. Valet parking. I'd start my “day of deals” $10 in the hole.
We dropped the car off, then fought through the sea of people to get to Macy's. In the crowd I saw people of every size, shape, race, and gender. There were even people who were mentally ill. I could pick them out, because they were pushing kids in strollers. (Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, this woman may have murdered her husband but consider the following proof that she is, in fact, insane: she went “Black Friday” shopping – with a stroller!”)
If you know me at all, you know I hate crowds. I avoid them at all costs. I don’t even eat food that's been in crowds - I buy free-range chicken! And yet there I was, in the thick of it, getting jostled and pushed and bumped. If you're a parent, you know why: when it comes to our kids, there's no sacrifice too great. Whether it's taking an extra job to pay for their college, donating a kidney, or going Black Friday shopping, we do what it takes. So I persevered.
At Macy's, we rode the escalator to the second floor. Kelly shopped while I looked around. The clothes were piled everywhere, and seemed to be arranged “Tornado-style.” I've never seen anything like it - except maybe on the show, “Hoarders.” I was overwhelmed. I couldn't even think straight. (On a positive note, my head was spinning so fast the centrifugal force may have removed a few wrinkles.)
Kelly found lots of things on sale, but only one she liked (it turned out the good stuff wasn't on sale). Her one find: a Ralph Lauren denim shirt that was marked down. I was happy, because the discount covered the Valet parking (unfortunately, it didn't cover the Starbucks drinks we'd had or our lunch at the Nordstrom Bistro).
If you're wondering what I ended up with, when I got home I counted. I had thirteen. Not packages – bruises.
Hey Kay,
Loved this one, "If you know me at all, you know I hate crowds. I avoid them at all costs. I don’t even eat food that's been in crowds - I buy free-range chicken!" LOL! and LOL! again. :0)
If we don't talk until then, "Merry Christmas" to you guys.
Dave
Posted by: David Long | December 02, 2011 at 11:14 AM